I feel like

Francis Bacon - Triptych 1991

Today is a sad day.

I just don't know why.

I haven't photographed Athens in years.

I despise Athens

-

Athens despises Me

Memories.

Without them I feel empty. Or free.

The truth is I am incomplete.

Россия: Страна воспоминаний

Возвращаться - плохая примета,
Я тебя никогда не увижу.
Я тебя никогда не забуду

Last night I dreamt..

"And all these questions I ask myself. It is not in a spirit of curiosity. I cannot be silent. About myself I need know nothing. Here all is clear. No, all is not clear. But the discourse must go on. So one invents obscurities. Rhetoric."

The Unnamable 

Samuel   Beckett 

photo by John Minihan. Café de Paris 1985

My bed feels less cold when I enjoy the company of great thoughts. In print.

Is it ever too late?

I can't quit. I am trying to quit. I will fail to quit.

I know it.

And memories fade away..

TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY

Berlin 2010 : back to hunger

Hamburg 2010 : back to life

HOSPITALS ARE BETTER THAN YOGA

In Holland I cry.

ПРИГОВОР 

И упало каменное слово
На мою еще живую грудь.
Ничего, ведь я была готова,
Справлюсь с этим как-нибудь.

У меня сегодня много дела:
Надо, чтоб душа окаменела,
Надо память до конца убить.
Надо снова научиться жить.

А не то...Горячий шелест лета,
Словно праздник за моим окном.
Я давно предчувствовала этот 
Светлый день и опустелый дом.

[22 июня] 1939, Фонтанный Дом
    

Анна Ахматова

In Hamburg I stand. In Berlin I fall.

Every day, every week, every single month and year I try to approach words.  They seem to dislike me. They escape. I am back in my cosy trap. I speak with squares. Therefore I speak not often. I speak not much. I speak in silence. To me. In public.

 I CAN'T GO ON, I WILL GO ON

 

Schmerz is a GIFT

Silence